Me Before You

 It's just a bit after midnight, and I am sobbing. I'm sobbing for the love that Louisa and Will found together, sobbing for the heartbreak that they both endured in the end, and sobbing for the future that Will was able to gift Lou. I love the book. I love it in its entirety with a fierceness. I love Lou, Will, Nathan, and even Mrs. Traynor.

But that doesn't mean that I myself don't feel heartbroken. Will's letter brought the sobs, while the tears first made their way to the surface when Lou confessed her love. I can hear Sam Clafin's voice in my head as the letter comes to an end, thankful that I'm able to have that small blueprint of who Will might've been. I can see Lou in her bumblebee tights, striding up the cobblestone to the shop where she'll purchase the perfume before heading towards the sinking sun, starting anew in this future that is with but without Will. 

The movie as a whole, stayed fairly true to the novel, the only missing pieces being that of the younger sister (though she wasn't much of a character) and the epic scene of Will and Lou watching Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away as Nathan peered on (my favorite anime). The bickerings are there, the snarky commentary, the desperately amusing style of Lou, Josie's forbidding of Lou going to Switzerland, all of it.  There were major aspects that should have been included, and I will forever be upset that the minor characters narratives didn't make the cut--all due to the star-crossed lovers theme of the film, understandable as it is. 

Mrs. Traynor's narrative broke me. I was eating dinner, and I dropped my food to the plate in front of me in shock of her perspective. I loved the conflict that she was feeling, and how as a magistrate with religion, she was having to go outside her boundaries to agree to Will's request out of desperation. The film doesn't allow for the viewers to see the truly caring and desperate mother that she is when they excluded this chapter. It did her wrong. She was criticized heavily for the role she played in her son's suicide, but the truth is, she never stopped fighting. She fought all the way to the end, begging Lou to fly to Switzerland. My heart aches for her. 

Nathan. Oh, Nathan. While I will forever loathe your name, I will be entirely grateful for your part in this story. You helped Will feel like someone, even if it was your job. You stopped treating him as a patient somewhere down the line and began treating him as a friend. That is why Will kept you around, and I think we all know that. You never "handled" him. You were there. 

Treena's narrative should have been in the movie 1000%. There is nothing that can change my mind. She allowed the readers to see into the outside world of Lou and how it really affected her when Will let her down. If it wasn't for this narrative, we would have never truly known what Lou went through in the days following the trip. She was the best sister and friend she could have been, pushing her forward even when she had no feeling to. 

I'll be angry with Will probably forever, because of how he did Lou on the trip. She deserved so much better. But, then again, I also understand. He loved her, and he knew that no amount of love he had would allow for him to let her watch him wither away. It's something D says to me, "If I have the choice to choose when I go out and have my dignity, then I would choose that over anything any day." Will wanted desperately to have his own choice over his life, and this was it. This was the only thing he was able to fully control. And while it kills me and fills me with a sense of loathing for Will, I understand. He loved Lou too much to be the reason she stayed in their small town, even if it meant they were together. He knew that she was meant for bigger things in the world. 

Lou. I love you, not just because we share a name, but because you remind me so heavily of myself. Something I will always long for to have been included in the movie is the maze scene. Lou decides to prove Will wrong, doing so, but only getting stuck. She finds herself getting lost in her past, having to confront her rape and the memory of it. Will doesn't know until he finds her in the center crouched to the ground. At that moment, it was like a moment of clarity for him, finally understanding why she never left, why she stayed in the comfort of a small town. And then it re-instilled a burning passion in him to show her that she was capable and meant for more, because her past does not define her. 

There is so much I want to say about the novel, but I will leave it at this: exceptionally heartbreaking and  invoking of love. Kudos, Jojo Moyes.

forever in love.